Tag: patience

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A ME-ist to a WE-ist: How We Can Change the World One Person at a Time

CHAPTER 3

Don’t Judge Others

It’s difficult to become a We-ist when you’re plagued with being judgmental of other’s behaviour for their selfish ways or actions; your colleagues taking too long lunchbreaks; a overweight runner on the treadmill at the gym; or ‘they’ are always disagreeing with your decisions. Let’s face it; we all lose our patience with the way our friends and family members act at times. Is it realistic to be completely judgment free? Perhaps, the best we can do is to be vigilant and work on damage control. If we realize even a slight improvement in our Self and the number of times we judge those around us, isn’t this walking on the correct path to real change? Therefore, it appears to me that judging others provides the potential to experience real growth in your life as you make strides to be less judgmental in those situations. When we judge others and their behaviour, are we judging them or are we judging our self? The Dean of Personal Development, Earl Nightingale, believes that we are holding up a mirror of our Self because “judging someone does not define who they are; it defines who we are.” It might be our own insecurities that prompt our judgmental words, actions, and thoughts.

            So, as we judge our colleagues for taking those extra minutes for their lunch, are we looking at our own behaviour and our own (in)ability to control our time? Or, as we frown inside when we see that fat runner on the treadmill, are we worrying about our own bodies becoming overweight as the years in our lives add up? Perhaps, when we judge our partner who questions or disagrees with every decision we make in life, we have innate fear that we are making the wrong decision, but this fear manifests as judging the other person’s reaction to us? In the end, a recent blog by Shola (2017), sums up what is brewing within our minds as we criticize the actions and words of those around us; “usually, we harshly judge others because we do the same to ourselves.” Isn’t this the truth? Accordingly, when I judge someone for being late for an appointment, I’m really saying that my way is the correct way, the only way, to live life and there’s little tolerance for not living up to my standards of behaviour.

            Our judgment of other’s actions and words act to reinforce our own core values, beliefs, and assumptions that ultimately, create our reality. As we pass judgment, we are able to comprehend how ‘their’ core values, beliefs, and assumptions fit in with ours. Here’s the problem; according to Dutta (2017), “everything in life looks morally incorrect and wrong, until we do that thing ourselves. What we don’t do ourselves is often unacceptable to our mind.” If different, we build a wall between us; if similar we build bridges. We may see that judging others negatively, who are different than we are, is morally and ethically wrong, but still, it is difficult to change our thoughts, words, and actions. If we see our own prejudices as they are, we must live with those or even more alarming, we must change to be more accepting of those who values and beliefs of life are not the same as ours.    

When we judge others, we add negative energy to our inner and outer world. Do we need to increase negative energy with the state our world is in at this moment? I don’t believe so; to make changes in our lives and our world we need to live with more positive thoughts, words, and actions which will create more positive energy. Once again, here’s a wonderful opportunity for personal growth in your life. We cannot live within a realm of negative and positive energy at the same time; it’s scientifically impossible. So, it’s either one or the other and we have complete control over what state of energy we live within. Since judging our family members, colleagues, and friends is mired in negative energy, it simply is not possible to add to the greater good of the planet when we judge others. There is no way that anyone can rationalize being judgmental helps the Me-ists of the world become We-ists. Think, speak, and act positive towards those you once judged. Imagine a world where there is an abundance of understanding and positivity rather than judging and negativity.

What’s the fuss about living in a state of negative energy? There is much to be concerned about and this is proven by modern day science, not just the words of the poets or writers. The trillions of cells that comprise our body respond to our thoughts, words, and actions much the same way as they are influenced by pharmaceutical drugs and our internal juices (Pert, 2010). Stress can result from negative thoughts, words, or actions, and when this occurs, our bodies react by creating a cornucopia of chemicals that include adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. Their release in our body is associated with surviving when trouble strikes; while helpful at the time of danger (shutting down what bodily functions are not needed, such as digestion, growth, and reproductive system), if our bodies keep producing cortisol, for example, when not required, this leads to serious damage. Klein (2013) reports that “Too much cortisol can suppress the immune system, increase blood pressure and sugar, decrease libido, produce acne, contribute to obesity and more.”  Passing judgment upon those around us draws negatives towards us, and soon we are languishing in ill-conceived chemicals that result from negative energy.

Grab a copy of this book at Amazon (hard copy is just $12.99) or Amazon Kindle (digital copy is only $5.99); it could help change your world. After reading, please write a review which really helps me share my thoughts with others who need help to achieve what they need and desire. Thanks!

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The moment I stop worrying about money is the moment I start accumulating money.

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Worry will not and cannot put money in your pocket …it can only stop the flow of money to you

Many worry from paycheck to paycheck, not knowing if they have enough income to cover their expenses. As they worry about the bottom line each and every month, they are blocking the flow of money and doing harm to their bodies. If you are one of these worriers, replace your negative thoughts of worry and fear with positive thoughts of faith and belief to begin the accumulation of money.

Credit is easy to obtain…but it can be difficult to pay it back each month

In this day and age, it is easy to receive credit and this all too common fact of life can lead us into difficulties at times. While we are earning enough income to cover our monthly expenses, we seldom even give it a second thought about what we owe. However, if we lose our job or receive a cut in pay, we suddenly realize the price we have to pay for living yesterday. And that price can be high, after all, money issues are the number one reason for broken marriages.

A lack of money causes stress in everyday living

A lack of money creates enormous stress on a relationship. Children need new clothes, teens need college tuition, and spouses need financial security. If the money cannot be found to cover our many obligations, we panic and start to focus on our lack and this can only sustain our present situation of lack. However, if you are in a crisis over money, all the worry in the world will not move you out of your present situation of lack into a situation of plenty.

Work with the Law of Abundance to achieve financial or personal success

Rather than focus on lack, we need to set our minds on plenty. And there is abundance everywhere, we only need to look around and see that abundance in order to receive that abundance. If you can see abundance, you are right and if you cannot see abundance, you are right. It is your perception at the moment, regardless, the Natural Laws, such as The Law of Abundance, are omnipresent and permeate the universe for your good. You only need you to focus your thoughts on plenty and you will receive all the people, conditions, and circumstances required to have abundance in your life.

The Law is unbiased regardless of age, gender, location, or level of education

The Law will deliver to anyone regardless of age, gender, education, or geographic location. You see, there is an unlimited abundance of money or happiness or love and these can never be taken away from you to be given to another. And money, happiness, or love of another can never be taken from them to be given to you.

Think, feel, and see abundance before it actually happens in your life

It is critical for each of us to receive abundance we first must use our minds to think, feel, and see abundance. Even if we are only fooling our mind into believing that abundance exists when in reality it does not, these thoughts will manifest in the abundance you want and deserve to have if given time and you display patience.

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We must make a conscious decision to gain, retain, and sustain control over our thoughts.

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Our thoughts are priceless

Our most valuable possessions are not parked in our driveways, are not worn on our wrists, and certainly are not the walls that surround us when we sleep at night. Our most valuable possessions are the thoughts that swirl around in our mind. Although these are the most precious things we have in life, many neglect their thoughts like a gardener who lets weeds take-over his land.

Control of our thoughts creates success

Since it is our thoughts and our thoughts alone that lead us to success or failure, we must learn to be in control of our thoughts and not let the weeds of fear, jealousy, poverty, envy and self-deprecation dominate our thinking. If we let these negatives rule our spiritual world, we can only expect to have more of the same in our physical world.

Gain control of your thoughts as the first step in your journey

In order to be successful, it is important to gain control over the thoughts that we harbor within our minds. Many may not believe that they have control over their thoughts. However, we have been given the choice by our Creator to let our thoughts control us or for us to control our thoughts. If we don’t gain control of our inner world, we are like a ship that is being tossed about on the open ocean. We are pulled one way and then pushed in another.

How can we gain control of our most precious gift?

Yet, we can gain control by consciously deciding upon what we constantly think about. If a negative appears, replace it with a positive; two thoughts cannot occupy our minds at the same time.

Retaining control over your thoughts is the next step towards your success

After we have come to the realization that we can gain control of our thoughts, we must now be able to retain that control or we will slip back into our old habits as the negatives quietly creep back into our minds. In our day-to-day activities, it can be difficult to retain control over our mind: there are always negative colleagues complaining about the company or the nightly news explaining about the latest downturn in the economy.

Negativity is all around us, however, don’t let the darkness take control

Doom and gloom is nothing new. Still, if we are constantly monitoring our thoughts and make adjustments when necessary, we can retain control of the most valuable asset we have.

Sustaining your thoughts is the final step in your journey

Successfully controlling your thoughts can only be short term if you aren’t able to sustain that control over a lifetime. Over a period of time, we develop a habit…either good or bad.

It’s a conscious effort

Your conscious efforts to control your thoughts will change into an automatic response and keep you on course like an automatic pilot within the latest jetliners or cruise control in your vehicle. Be patient and let time work for you. 

Be careful what you plant…you can only harvest the same as what you sow

Be aware that planting a positive seed within your mind will produce a harvest of fruit within your life. Only allow what you want to enter within your mind since you have the control to do so. 

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“Revisit your past to redefine your future.”

Most don’t have an ‘ideal’ family life

When you develop good friendships and meaningful relationships with others, we frequently open-up to that trusted person about our family life and how we grew-up facing certain situations. While listening to the many stories that have been shared with me, I seldom have heard of anyone who has grown-up in an ‘ideal’ family life. There are the stories of physical and mental abuse which have left their scars upon our lives and shaped the futures of the people who have lived through such maladies.

Don’t bury the past…resurrect the past

Still, these things have happened and we must not bury them deep within our Self, that would only prolong our suffering and stifle our spiritual and personal growth, rather, we must revisit them with a greater sense of awareness in order to create a future which is a more positive and more fulfilling experience.

Is there a ‘perfectly dysfunctional’ family?

Looking back, I now understand the influence that growing up in a ‘perfectly dysfunctional’ family had upon my life. My story may mirror what many have experienced. One parent was overbearing and wouldn’t allow me to try anything new or to think for myself since I wasn’t that capable or that smart. The constant put-downs and verbal innuendos about my ability and intellect left me with little confidence in both social and educational situations. I struggled to find who I was and what I was good at.

Success occurred, but at a cost

Finally, I made some progress, earned my university degree, and landed a good job which enabled me to buy a house and an expensive German sports car. However, instead of being given credit for attaining this level of success, these changes intimidated my parent and we never had a relationship or spoke thereafter, not even an impending death could we resolve these issues.

Money is the root of all evil

The other parent grew-up with an attitude that money was indeed the root of all evil and rich people were unhappy and had many more problems in life than poor people. And besides, you were meant to work hard and scrimp and save until you finally could enjoy the many years of hard labor when you retire. I now understand that always being bailed out of my economic problems was a sign of love and that was what a good parent would do; help their poor and struggling child when in difficulty. Growing-up in this kind of environment caused me pain and suffering for many years.

A revelation…with the appearance of Napoleon Hill, James Allen, and Raymond Holliwell 

In my job, I was introduced to the masters and masterpieces of self-development: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill; As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, and Working with the Law by Raymond Holliwell. These classics taught me that I certainly was not responsible for the thoughts of my parents, however, I was responsible for my own thoughts; I couldn’t change them, but I could change me. I could not change my past but I could change my future and it began with the thoughts that I held in my mind. I was aware of what happened and why it happened and what the results were of my upbringing, and to move forward and to change, I could not remain in the negative state of blame of how others had messed-up my life.

Take full responsibility to make huge changes  

I took full responsibility to make the changes that I needed to make to become the person I truly wanted to be. I left the past behind as an experience, as a part of my life, and as a part of what I am today. There is no animosity or blame, just understanding from a distance which left me as a spectator to what had occurred and not as a victim.

Achieve a positive vibratory state to move forward…by being forgiving 

Being in a positive vibratory state about the past is crucial to overcoming what has formed you earlier and now taking hold of your present life. In order to move to a positive state of vibration, there are a couple of ideas that can help you in the process. First, you must forgive the person or persons who had such influence upon your earlier life, this is a must. If you harbor bad feelings and apprehension towards the person or persons, you can only be held back where you are in a negative state since this is the predominate thoughts that occupy your mind.

This exercise will rid you of negative thoughts and ill feelings

Take a piece of paper and write the person’s name on it; then light a match and burn the name (it does not matter if the person has passed when doing this, in fact, it is even more important since the person is not on this physical plane of existence). As the name is burning, say the following and really mean what you say with all your senses; I want the best for you, (name of the person). I want the best for me (state your name). I forgive you (name of the person). I forgive me (state your name). Can you feel the negative energy dissipate? Can you feel lighter as the burden of all those years has just been lifted from your shoulders? Did you cry tears of joy? If you did not experience a sense of relief and bliss, perhaps you do not truthfully want the best for the person or your Self. And by the same token, past thinking and actions are difficult to overcome since they have been harbored deep within our souls for perhaps decades. Be patient and try this again until you receive the feelings of joy and happiness of true forgiveness for both you and the other person.

There’s an alternative way to achieve forgiveness 

If you feel uncomfortable with the above, there is an alternative means for you to forgive the other person so both of you can move forward to repair the past injustices. Find a quiet, private place where you can say the following: I release you (state the name), from your responsibility, I release me (state your name), from my responsibility. I send the best of life to you (state the name), and I send the best of life to me (state your name). Once again, feel true forgiveness and you will occupy a positive state where the things that transpired in the past are neither good nor bad, they just are.   

Forgiveness paves the way to your success 

You have the immense power of the universe and the Source in your hands when you practice true forgiveness for those who were unjust to you in the past. Be patient and work at forgiving; the world will appear different to you when you succeed at coming to terms with your past.